How I Achieved Perfect Life Balance by Buying a Beige Hyundai i10
For years, I thought the key to happiness was power, luxury, and speed. I believed that a fast car would bring excitement, that premium leather seats would cradle me in comfort, and that a sporty exhaust note would soothe my soul like a monks chant – I was wrong.
The secret to true peace, harmony, and inner balance was dullness. And I found it in the form of a Hyundai i10.
The Myth of Excitement
Society has tricked us into thinking that a powerful car equals a powerful life. That we must chase performance, prestige, and pointless 0-60 times. But real balance isn’t found in a twin-turbocharged V8.
It’s found in a 1.0-litre engine producing a soul-numbing 66bhp.
For years, I drove fast cars. I had a BMW with sports suspension but I was miserable. I had a Jaguar with 400 horsepower and I was stressed.
Every red light was a race, every motorway drive a competition. My car was an extension of my ego, and my ego was exhausted.
Then I bought a beige Hyundai i10, and everything changed, for the better.
The Zen of 10
The Hyundai i10 is the absence of ambition. It is a car with no opinions, no aspirations, no desire. When you drive this car, you transcend the need for validation.
Nobody expects you to race at the lights. Nobody challenges you in a fast lane battle. Nobody even notices you exist.
And that, dear friend, is true freedom (PLB).
Dull is the New Luxury
Fast cars promise adrenaline, but who needs adrenaline when you can have comfortably average steering feedback?
Luxury cars promise status, but why chase status when you can have unconditional anonymity?
The Hyundai i10 doesn’t have a turbo. It doesn’t have a sporty drive mode. It doesn’t even have any road presence whatsoever. It simply exists, moving from A to B with all the enthusiasm of a public library notice board.
A Life Without Speed, A Life Without Stress
In my old car, I was constantly tense—watching for speed cameras, calculating fuel costs, gripping the wheel like I was piloting an F1 car through rush hour traffic.
Now? I am untouchable.
✔ Nobody cuts off a beige Hyundai i10.
✔ No one ever expects you to arrive first.
✔ You are invisible to road rage.
Where others are trapped in the never-ending rat race of comfort and prestige, I cruise gently towards enlightenment, doing 36mph in a 40 zone, listening to BBC Radio 2, completely at peace with the world.
Hyundai Harmony
When Hyundai realised what a harmonious creation they had accidentally made, they realised that they could be the company that could bring world peace if they extended this blandness into the rest of their car range.
Starting as Limited Editions, Hyundai have begun selling Perfect Life Balance versions of all their models. You will begin seeing cars on the road like the i10 PLB, the Santa Fe PLB and the IONIQ 6 PLB.
You won’t need to see the badge to know it’s a PLB model, the relaxed zen look on the drivers face will give the game away.
Final Thoughts:
Balance is not found in carbon fibre trim. It is not found in hand-stitched Italian leather. It is not found in launch control and 300bhp on wet British roads.
Balance is found in a small, slow car that nobody cares about.
A car so perfectly, gloriously dull, that nothing, not traffic, not tailgaters, not potholes nor petrol prices can ever bother you again.
The secret to a stress-free life? Buy a Hyundai i10. And if you can, make it beige.
Who’d have thought that a Hyundai i10 could end all wars and bring peace to humanity.
LOVE YOU ALL