First off, let’s point out that this is a satirical post, designed to make people chuckle. If the seller does choose to use our listing and sells his motor, we don’t want a cut of the takings but would appreciate a fresh bag of Revels.
This Volvo 850 Estate, in its glorious Dukes of Hazard livery has been on eBay for a while now. In fact at the time of writing, it was still being advertised, click here.
It’s our job to find the best, worst and weirdest cars on eBay, and in doing so, we often find cars that keep being relisted because they just won’t sell. So we had this great idea, and thought it might be funny if we had a crack at rewriting the eBay listing.
Please note that the spoof listing below is totally made up, completely full of horse manure and was written to make you smile:
SPOOF LISTING:
Ladies, gentlemen, and those who appreciate true automotive excellence, feast your eyes upon this magnificent chariot – the Volvo 850 Estate. But wait, this isn’t just any 850 Estate. No, this is a car steeped in history, mystery, stains and an unnecessary amount of orange wrap.
This 1997 Volvo 850 Estate is so prestigious that it’s practically a rolling museum piece. If you don’t believe us, then let us regale you with just some of its legendary backstory.
A Celebrity-abused Masterpiece
This car was borrowed by Hollywood heartthrob Brad Pitt. As a family friend, he borrowed it for a date with Angelina.
Brad told us personally (in a dream) that he “definitely did not make out in the back” of the car, but we’re not convinced, considering:
✔ The suspiciously stained mattress in the back (included with sale—no DNA tests allowed before purchase).
✔ A half-empty bottle of Calvin Klein’s Obsession For Men still lingering in the glovebox.
✔ The faint smell of heartbreak and regret in the upholstery.
A Car So Tough, It Defies Science
This non-turbo 2.5-litre beast doesn’t just run—it survives. The Volvo 850 is known for its legendary durability, and this one is no exception. Not only has it survived decades of bad parking and questionable driving, but it has also:
✔ Driven through six different European countries on a single tank of fuel.
✔ Outrun a police helicopter (while obeying all traffic laws, obviously).
✔ Saved a baby deer from a burning forest with its hazard lights alone.
In fact, this car is so well-built that Volvo engineers once tried to destroy it in a controlled crash test but gave up when it simply laughed in Swedish.
Features You Never Knew You Needed
✔ Musical Horns – Not just any horns, but Dukes of Hazzard-style air horns, perfect for letting pedestrians know they’re in the presence of a legend.
✔ Custom “Weathered” Interior – Some might call it “worn-out,” we call it “historically rich.”
✔ Brilliant Advertising Potential – Whether you’re promoting your business, your mixtape, or just your inability to make good financial decisions, this car demands attention.
✔ Not One, But Two Cupholders – That’s double the beverage storage of a standard Volvo 850.
✔ Windshield Wipers That Work 60% of the Time, Every Time – Adds an element of danger to wet-weather driving.
Perfect for Any Situation
Are you:
🔹 A wannabe rally driver with a death wish?
🔹 A midlife-crisis sufferer looking for a budget alternative to a Ferrari?
🔹 Someone who just really, REALLY loves the colour orange?
Then this car is for you!
Final Thoughts
This one-of-a-kind, completely unnecessary, visually aggressive Volvo 850 Estate is ready to change your life forever.
For just one low, low payment of whatever we’re asking, you too can own a piece of history, a piece of automotive royalty, and possibly Brad Pitt’s old date night mobile.
Act fast—because we really need the driveway space!
FINAL WORDS
If you would like us to help you sell your POS, please send an email to LOL@unusualcars.co.uk