A 52-year-old taxi driver from Leicester has admitted that he uses his satnav daily – not to follow it, but purely to argue with it.
Steve Henshall, a full-time Uber driver and part-time swearing enthusiast, claims he hasn’t actually followed a satnav instruction since 2018, but insists on having it switched on “just to wind himself up.”
“It tells me to turn left, so I turn right. It’s a battle of wills now,” Steve explained, sipping tea from a flask marked ‘World’s Best Navigator (Me)’.
“I know these roads better than it does. I’ve been driving taxis since the TomTom was the size of a microwave.”
Every Journey a Verbal Sparring Match
Passengers regularly report hearing Steve mutter phrases like:
- “Oh do shut up, no one asked you.”
- “Roundabout? What roundabout? There hasn’t been a roundabout here since ‘06.”
- “I’ll detour you in a minute, you passive-aggressive cow.”
Steve has even given his satnav a name, voice, and backstory.
He refers to her as “Madge,” a fictional ex from Swindon who “always thinks she knows best.”
“It’s therapeutic. Some people go to therapy, I just shout at a dashboard.”
Why Not Just Turn It Off?
Steve insists he still needs the satnav running in case passengers ask why he isn’t using one.
“People trust technology. But they don’t know these roads like I do. I once beat Madge to Luton by 6 minutes.”
His satnav screen has visible thumbprints, a stress crack, and frequently displays “Recalculating… again.”
Passengers Weigh In
One regular passenger told us:
“The route’s usually fine, but it’s like being in the middle of a messy divorce.”
Another added:
“He shouted ‘WRONG’ so loudly the car did a swerve. Turns out he was arguing with a roadworks diversion.”
Final Thoughts
Steve shows no sign of changing his ways.
In fact, he’s now petitioning Google Maps to offer an in-app option where drivers can customise the satnav voice to someone they already don’t like, just to make the insults more satisfying.
In the age of AI, Steve reminds us: sometimes the journey isn’t about getting there… it’s about loudly disagreeing with every step of the way.